Tag Archives: mischief

The Real Me

I don’t make friends very easily. I’m sociable and gregarious and all of those things that on paper should make it easy for me to make lots of friends; and while it’s true, I have many acquaintances, I can count the number of VERY close friends that I have on both hands (and maybe one or two toes).

Don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. Having a little network of really close pals is great. However, it’s tricky when they mainly live in another country. It can get a bit lonely when the people you’re used to sharing stuff with with – laughs, adventures, heartaches, scandals etc – aren’t mere minutes away.

I’ve been in Ireland just short of 18 months now and in that time I’ve met loads of really fantastic people. It’s true what they say (whoever “they” are, and “they” tend to say an awful lot)… but yes, it’s true what they say about the Irish being very friendly. Indeed, the vast majority of people you meet really are very friendly; interested in why you moved here, how you’re settling in, what you think of it all so far etc. And there it ends.

Where it’s quite tricky is making the step change from someone who knows lots of friendly people, to someone who’s built up a network of lovely friends, including some of the really close variety (not that kind of close, dirty mind!)

For me this takes a bit of time. People don’t tend to know quite what to make of me when they meet me initially. I kind of stick out like a sore thumb for starters; I’ve never been very good at blending into the background. I don’t really look like most girls, I don’t talk like most girls (largely because I swear like a navvy!), I’m not particularly subtle (to look at or to listen to) and am generally a bit “different”. All of this can mean that I also seem to be unapproachable and a bit intimidating at times apparently.

The odd thing is that yes, while I appear to be all of these things, I’m also a  massive jumble of contradictions. Not in my opinions and the like, but in other ways.

So while I’m the loud, pint swilling, non-PC, potty-mouthed, joke cracking seemingly confident girl in the room, I’m also quite shy, self-conscious and bizarrely somewhat timid. I’ll happily be the performing monkey in a situation and make everyone laugh, because fuck it, I’m funny 😉 But it always shocks me when people realise that I’m quite shy underneath it all. I always think it’s incredibly obvious.

So, because of all of this, and no doubt a myriad of other factors, I don’t tend to make really good friends very easily. I don’t let a lot of people in you see, to get to know the real me.

But then every now and then I meet someone who just gets me. Who thinks I’m fun and funny, interesting and good company, yet sees the other sides to me and accepts them too. And in turn lets me get to know them a bit better as well.

Recently I’ve made two very, very good friends and I love them to bits. They’re as silly as I am which is a real bonus, but they also “get” the real me.

Which is why we get drunk & I let them do stuff like this to me…

The Love Child of Marc Bolan & Salvador Dali?
The Love Child of Marc Bolan & Salvador Dali?

Thanks boys. Love you loads! Mwah!

What Goes On Tour…

…evidently doesn’t stay on tour, as my girlfriends have been pestering me to write a  post about our recent weekend away to Galway. Now, I’d like to think this is testament to my writing skills and the fact that I’m funny as fuck, but as a group we do like to reminisce about good times, so I feel it’s more a case of them all wanting to have it all noted down somewhere for posterity and those times  when they need a chuckle.

Further more, my memories of that weekend are seriously patchy in part, as my age is catching up with me and I now have a brain that turns to swiss cheese when I’ve been drinking. But here goes…

First of all let me introduce the key cast members*:

Fergie – Co-Lead

Martha – Co-Lead

Leona – Co-Lead

Anne – Co-Lead

Al – The Bar Tender

Lovely Jim

Noah – Boat builder

Hot Dude – a hot, er, dude

GAA Boy

Joe – GAA Boy’s Younger Brother

The Krankees – Teeny, tiny couple that we saw everywhere

The Captain

Rowley Birkin QC

The English Rose – Al the Bar Tender’s GF

*All names have been changed to protect the guilty

Now, I’m going to split this over a few posts because it’s just too long to put into one overall post – what can I say, we crammed a lot in.  The chapters will be thus:

Friday – It’s Groundhog Day

Saturday – Coo Coo Ca Choo Mrs Robinson

Sunday & Monday – 15 Hour Party People

Try not to judge… it was probably much worse than I’ve been able to relay here.

Road Trip!

Woohoo! My girlfriends are coming over this week and we’re all heading to Kinvara, Co. Galway for a weekend of fun & frolics.

Woohoo! Oh, I already said that, but fuck it I am excited, dammit!

I am so ready for a weekend with three of the funniest women on the planet. Sadly one of the world’s other top 5 funny women couldn’t make it as she’s doing a triathlon back at home – I know, I know, she’s mental, but we’re related so you’re not going to pretend to be surprised by that are you?

I like to think we’ll be really cool looking like Alicia Silverstone & Liv Tyler (and another hot mate like, er, Drew Barrymore or something) in the Crazy video, as we bounce over the potholes cruise along the road, but more than likely we’ll be doing stuff like this as we drive along.

romymichele

Cut loose! Footloose! Kick off your sunday shoes!

Especially as we’re off to a hooker festival!

So, to get to the point (it always takes me a while), I’m pulling together a playlist of songs for us to singalong to. So far, tracks include, the following, but I would love to know if there’s a seriously awesome roadtrip track that you think I’m missing, please leave a comment below…

  1. Needle in a Haystack – The Velvelettes
  2. Black & White Town – Doves
  3. Don’t Stop Believing – Journey
  4. War! – Edwin Starr
  5. The Reeling – Passion Pit
  6. Tribute – Tenacious D
  7. Got to be Real – Cheryl Lynne
  8. Woke Up This Morning – Alabama 3
  9. Summertime Clothes – Animal Collective
  10. The General Specific – Band of Horses
  11. Walk Like an Egyptian – The Bangles
  12. Push It – Salt & Pepa
  13. God Only Knows – The Beach Boys
  14. Hanging on the Telephone – Blondie
  15. Across 10th Street – Bobby Womack
  16. Cancel on Me – Bombay Bicycle Club
  17. The Seed 2.0 – The Roots
  18. Tiger Phone Card – Dengue Fever
  19. Road to Joy – Bright Eyes
  20. Moi je Joue – Brigitte Bardot
  21. Lloyd, I’m Ready To Be Heartnbroken – Camera Obscura
  22. Superstar – The Carpenters
  23. Race for the Prize – The Flaming Lips
  24. Whoo! Alright-yeah… Uh huh – The Rapture
  25. Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations
  26. Laid – James
  27. Waterloo – Abba
  28. Dress You Up – Madonna
  29. Boys Don’t Cry – The Cure
  30. Ask – The Smiths
  31. Rudie Can’t Fail – The Clash
  32. Love Child – The Supremes
  33. All I Need To Get By – Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrel
  34. Womanizer – Britney
  35. Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough – Michael Jackson
  36. You’re so Vain – Carly Simon
  37. No Good Start The Dance – Prodigy
  38. Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard – Simon & Garfunkel
  39. True – Spandau Ballet
  40. Dog Days Are Over – Florence & The Machine
  41. Afternoon Delight – Ron Burgundy & The Channel 4 News Team
  42. Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
  43. Bette Davis Eyes – Kim Carnes
  44. I Wanna Dance With Somebody – Whitney Houston (that one’s going to hurt a lot!)
  45. Dog Train – The Levellers (a new on on me, but we’ll give it a whirl nonetheless I’m sure!)
  46. …???

So, please let me know what songs you think we should add to the list – it’s a fair old drive, so we’ll need a few.

The light blue ones are the add-ons I’ve already received – thanks guys. More please, we want to be hoarse by the time we arrive 😉

In return I’ll share the embarrassing stories (about them, not me you understand) that occur over the course of the weekend and lead to pics like this and this. And if you’re lucky I might even tell you what the “Mystical Web of Secret Toilet Love Is” – needless to say it is already a Kinvara legend

Can you tell I’m looking forward to this trip much? Hmmm…

Do you take cards?

I know a few people I’d love to give these bad boys out to. The perfect combination of lovely design, typography, stock and fabulous put-downs. I’m genuinely tempted to buy these first two…

Perfect for a night out in the Fair City. (Copyright: Gramkin Paper Studio)

Perfect for a night out in the Fair City. (Copyright: Gramkin Paper Studio)

To be handed out in restaurants & supermarkets the world over (Copyright: Gramkin Paper Studio)

To be handed out in restaurants & supermarkets the world over (Copyright: Gramkin Paper Studio)

All of them are from the rather delightful Gramkin Paper Studio who do a lovely range of personalised stationery & gifts, which you can buy from their Etsy store.

Now, if only I had the courage to hand these out to one or two folk…

Probably a step too far (Copyright: Gramkin Paper Studio)

Probably a step too far (Copyright: Gramkin Paper Studio)

I’m just not that mean though.

Get your kicks…

kissing

Some secrets just make things more fun.

Wash my mouth out with soap?

Starting to think I should always have one of these stuck to me somewhere…

Yes, I'm Sorry... but I have the mouth of as Navvy.

Yes, I'm Sorry... but I have the mouth of a Navvy.

Standing to attention

nipple_bra

Smuggling Peanuts?

Am actually considering getting one of these. Mine are a bit on the shy side. Might not be a bad thing to show a bit of nipple from time to time… though, I’m not sure I really need to draw more attention to my cleavage really. I already lead with the boobs 😉

Alternatively I could get one of these, though I’d probably need two or three!

Remember when Kylie was actually hot?…

After innocently posting a link on Twitter to a new Freya Lingerie ad, I ended up inadvertently talking about Kylie’s oh-so-fabulous Agent Provocateur ad from a few years back, when she was really, truly HOT.

I’m talking about the time post-Neighbours, post-getting dropped by record companies, post-collaborating with the Manics in a bid for credibility, but pre-sounding like a smurf on all of her songs & pre-having a face like a death mask. I’m talking about the golden era of Kylie: a re-birth brought about predominantly by a pair of teeny, tiny golden hot pants and a very lovely bottom.

Before us today though, we see a 40-year old woman without a single wrinkle, which is frankly a little unnerving, and skin pulled so tightly across her forehead that I do genuinely worry that one day she’s going to do an almighty sneeze and her face is going to literally rip open, right down the middle!

But there was a time, not very long ago, when Kylie was EVERYONE’s fantasy. I don’t know a single girl that wasn’t at least a tiny bit bi-curious when it came to Kylie, especially when this little lovely was released, to the sound of cold-showers and ice-filled baths the world over:

Hell, I even have a friend who bought one of these, albeit officially for “exercise”. I’ve rarely laughed as hard as I did when she showed it to me in the middle of her lounge one night, post dinner out, with a look of utter sincerity on her face 😀

I’m not going to get into a whole debate about growing old gracefully or whether Kylie’s still hot or not (I mean come on, you know you still would!)

However, and purely for the sake of posterity you understand, I impore you to all enjoy the above, because beauty should be enjoyed.. and a little naughtiness from time to time. Hey, it’s Friday so why not?! In the meantime I’m off to dig out my favourite AP under-crackers and give Jo a ring to see if she’s willing to part with her iJoyRide at a reasonable price…

Flirting with disaster

Hello, my name is curlydena and I’m a flirtaholic.

Actually, that’s not strictly true. I’m not addicted to flirting, I just do it a lot apparently. With friends, people on the phone, the bus driver, the 70+ year old dude I bought a packet of smokes from at the weekend, the list goes on. The point is, I’m pretty much an omniflirter – my flirting is utterly lacking in any form of discernment at all. It’s what you could call a pretty scatter-gun approach.

Therein lies the rub though. People misunderstand my flirting and mistake it for more than it is. I don’t flirt in a predatory way though, AT ALL, especially as I’m more than likely to be totally oblivious to the fact I’m doing it. In my world I’m just being friendly and bubbly and all that sort of jazz, but in the eyes of others I’m being flirty. So, to figure out how to reign it in I guess I should look at what constitutes flirting exactly?

According to “sexpert” (and oh my f*cking word, what a claim to fame that is, I don’t think) Tracey Cox, you know a woman is flirting when:

“She’s attracted if . . .

  • She’s looking at your mouth
  • She’s lightly stroking her outer thigh
  • She starts massaging her neck
  • She flashes her wrists
  • She stands with her legs apart, weight on one foot, hips tilted
  • She starts invading your space with objects
  • She darts short, repetitive glances your way”
  • (Source: Superflirt – Tracey Cox http://short.ie/tvjvca )

    Now, I’ll admit to being a tactile person, that’s just me letting you know I’m comfortable with you more than anything, and I do massage my neck a lot, but that’s mainly because I am REALLY overdue a visit to the Osteopath to sort out my shit posture. I don’t however, go around standing with my legs apart, lightly stroking my own thighs, that kind of stuff can get a person arrested! And I don’t invade people’s spaces with objects – nor am I aware of any of my girl friends having ever built a wall of clutter around a person to signal their interest in them.

    So the mystery continues. After ooh, about 3 minutes thinking it over though, I think I am considered flirty for the following reasons mainly:

    • I’m fairly tactile
    • I like to look people in the eye when talking to them and smile
    • I have a total love of mischief
    • I have a fairly pesky sense of humour
    • I just am – it’s clearly part of my DNA or something

    I’m not about to change any of these though, they’re a basic part of who I am, especially the DNA bit. What does this mean? Well, I’m going to carry on flirting my way through life really. The day’s always that bit nicer with a bit of flirty banter though, I reckon. Sod it, it er, perks me up anyway. Meanwhile, people are free to mis-interpret it all they want too; and they do, but that’s fine. While the world thinks I fancy everyone I come across, I know when I’m genuinely interested in someone, as ironically enough, they tend to be the people I get the most shy around & wait for them to make a move – kind of like the female equivalent of “Field of Dreams” I like to think, haha.

    So, in conclusion. I’m a flirt. I like being a flirt. A mischievous, funny, harmless flirt. And I shall continue flirting in my own inimitable way. I will not however, be standing legs akimbo & stroking my own thighs, whilst simultaneously building a woman-made wall made of randomly found jetsam around a person – all sounds like too much effort for me.

    And to the next person I clam up around totally – I’ve built it, the rest is up to you.