Category Archives: Uncategorized

Hold The Line Please Caller

*plays Greensleeves*

I’m sorry, but I’m not here at the moment. Instead you can find me here.

The Real Me

I don’t make friends very easily. I’m sociable and gregarious and all of those things that on paper should make it easy for me to make lots of friends; and while it’s true, I have many acquaintances, I can count the number of VERY close friends that I have on both hands (and maybe one or two toes).

Don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. Having a little network of really close pals is great. However, it’s tricky when they mainly live in another country. It can get a bit lonely when the people you’re used to sharing stuff with with – laughs, adventures, heartaches, scandals etc – aren’t mere minutes away.

I’ve been in Ireland just short of 18 months now and in that time I’ve met loads of really fantastic people. It’s true what they say (whoever “they” are, and “they” tend to say an awful lot)… but yes, it’s true what they say about the Irish being very friendly. Indeed, the vast majority of people you meet really are very friendly; interested in why you moved here, how you’re settling in, what you think of it all so far etc. And there it ends.

Where it’s quite tricky is making the step change from someone who knows lots of friendly people, to someone who’s built up a network of lovely friends, including some of the really close variety (not that kind of close, dirty mind!)

For me this takes a bit of time. People don’t tend to know quite what to make of me when they meet me initially. I kind of stick out like a sore thumb for starters; I’ve never been very good at blending into the background. I don’t really look like most girls, I don’t talk like most girls (largely because I swear like a navvy!), I’m not particularly subtle (to look at or to listen to) and am generally a bit “different”. All of this can mean that I also seem to be unapproachable and a bit intimidating at times apparently.

The odd thing is that yes, while I appear to be all of these things, I’m also a  massive jumble of contradictions. Not in my opinions and the like, but in other ways.

So while I’m the loud, pint swilling, non-PC, potty-mouthed, joke cracking seemingly confident girl in the room, I’m also quite shy, self-conscious and bizarrely somewhat timid. I’ll happily be the performing monkey in a situation and make everyone laugh, because fuck it, I’m funny 😉 But it always shocks me when people realise that I’m quite shy underneath it all. I always think it’s incredibly obvious.

So, because of all of this, and no doubt a myriad of other factors, I don’t tend to make really good friends very easily. I don’t let a lot of people in you see, to get to know the real me.

But then every now and then I meet someone who just gets me. Who thinks I’m fun and funny, interesting and good company, yet sees the other sides to me and accepts them too. And in turn lets me get to know them a bit better as well.

Recently I’ve made two very, very good friends and I love them to bits. They’re as silly as I am which is a real bonus, but they also “get” the real me.

Which is why we get drunk & I let them do stuff like this to me…

The Love Child of Marc Bolan & Salvador Dali?
The Love Child of Marc Bolan & Salvador Dali?

Thanks boys. Love you loads! Mwah!

So Long Smokey Joe?

Well, Smokey Me really I suppose.

I’ve been toying with the idea of giving up smoking recently. Much to the joy of several close friends and my parents I’m sure. Not for health reasons, or even financial ones, but just because I feel like I might. I’ve long had an off/on relationship with smoking. I really like smoking, controversial possibly, but true, and yet sometimes I get bored and just don’t bother.

As it stands I haven’t had a cigarette since last Friday. Not through any conscious effort, just sometimes I can’t be arsed & forget about it altogether. Maybe I’ll not bother again, maybe I’ll just regress to becoming a social smoker again, maybe all this talk of smoking will have me sparking up the minute go outside. Who knows.

Mind you, if they really did reveal hidden laser traps there’d be NO way I’d give up. Lasers are cool. Fact.

Image via

Image via

Be Yourself

Easier said than done, but worth the effort

Easier said than done, but worth the effort

I’ve Got You Under My Skin…

I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t want it. I didn’t even start it. But I liked it. It was fun.

And you have got under my skin. And that pisses me right off.

Believe nothing…


Job envy

Sorry no, I can’t make after work drinks today. I still have to brush another 6 bats. Maybe next time eh…

Ooooh, that tickles.

Ooooh, that tickles.

The Lion Queen

I’m a Leo: well with a mane of hair like mine I wasn’t going to be anything else really was I?

Even though I think that astrology is an enormous crock of shit, I do think it’s absolutely the coolest of all the star signs… best of all it gives me justification for having enormous lust over this fabulous pendant from New York based designer, Karen Yost’s company Anomaly Jewelry, which I found through one of my favourite blogs at the moment – Godammit I’m Mad


From her Zodiac Kidz range, I just think it’s bloody lovely! And I really, really want one. Alas, at $290 I’m going to have to restrain myself for the time being, what with the “current economic situation” and all that.

On the bright side though, now you know that I’m a Leo and that means you’ve all got plenty of time to save up for my birthday (19th August btw) and put me out of my jewellery-lacking misery.


So very tired…

Hit a nerve?

Well, apparently my earlier post has hit a nerve with the guys of Kama Lifestyles. I noticed that a high proportion of visits to the post were coming via a site called so thought I’d register and check it out.

Apparently I’m stupid, repressed and never get laid. Clearly never met me then. Check out some of the things that have been said:

Well, thanks lads. You’ve managed to get me completely wrong! Good to know that despite all of your training you have absolutely no understanding of women at all. Money well spent eh?! Muppets!

As for the lovely chap who’s going to find me on a night out and… “If I do “recognise” her I am going to go in with two guns of game blazing, game her into bed with a charm offensive and then photograph her and blog about it :-)”

Bring it on I say. Bring as much game as you can muster. You don’t stand a fucking chance. I not only have a brain and therefore eliminate myself from your target market, but I also have the ability to spot an absolute wanker when I see one and know when to tell him to “fuck off”.

As for treating men like shit, I don’t think so.  The only men I treat like shit are the ones who deserve it. So yeah, chances are if you approached me I’d turn my nose up at you as frankly you’re not good enough. Plus isn’t this a bit like the pot calling the kettle black? The way you appear to treat women is appalling. When you treat women with respect they’ll respect you back and that ultimately makes for something more worthwhile… which I imagine is what you’re after, in the long run.

I’m glad you’ve all found away to overcome whatever deep and serious insecurities that you have and genuinely wish you all the best for the future. I have nothing against men being confident – in fact I’m all for it. More power to you. I just question your methods – treating women like pieces of meat isn’t on. It’s not the middle ages any more. If we don’t like you, we don’t like you. Suck it up!
It doesn’t make us gay, or “retarded” (which, by the way, is an awesome use of the English language), it just makes us a bit too choosy to drop our knickers for you. But then, if that’s the kind of woman you’re after I know just the one…