Murray-mania makes me want to kill people

OK, so that might be a slight exaggeration, but only slight mind you. I just don’t get it. Tennis just isn’t one of the sports where patriotism plays a massive part – except every time Wimbledon rolls around that is.

I mean, jeez, almost every girl I knew when growing up was a massive Steffi Graf fan, but I’m English, we’re supposed to hate the Germans, almost as much as we hate the French. It’s practically genetic. But no, we all loved her, and rightly so, she was fucking brilliant – and not bad to look at either to be honest (though that was more a justification for her male fan base than anything)

I just don’t think nationalism really has a place in individual sports. I tend to support whoever I think is the best player. I’ve supported tennis players who are American, German, Czech, Spanish, Serb/Hungarian (that’s Seles btw) and yeah, some British players (though never the faux British, but really Canadian ones. That frankly was a bit too desperate even for me). Over the last few years my favourite players have been Nadal & Djokovic for example. I like the way that they both play, I like the way that they handle the media circus around the game and the fact that they seem to genuinely appreciate their fans’ support.

All of which are totally unlike a certain spoilt, grumpy, android-esque Scottish/British player of note. Step up Mr Andy Murray.

Ooh look I've won a trophy, let joy be unconfined!

Ooh look I've won a trophy, let joy be unconfined!

Now, because I’m British I’m expected to want this moany arsehole to win Wimbledon, because that too is quintessentially British… er, I mean English… but he’s Scottish… Oh yeah, it’s British, definitely British.

Well bollocks to that thanks all the same. Why should I? He does absolutely nothing to evoke any support from me whatsoever. Now, I could bring up the whole “I’ll support anyone that’s not England in the World Cup” story… and in fact I just did.

So let me get this straight, you hate England but you’re still British, standing shoulder to shoulder with England, Wales & Northern Ireland? Ooh, what’s that smell in the air? Oh that’s it, it’s the distinct whiff of hypocrisy there methinks.

But it’s not just that. He’s a miserable sod. Watching his match last night he was struggling to beat (the totally unknown) Swiss player, Wawrink, yet the crowd on centre court were cheering him on as though he was already in the final and about to make all of their collective wet Tennis dreams come true. Cheering so loudly it’s going to put off the best of players, and no doubt affected Wawrink’s play. It sure as shit affected Murray’s.

So when asked by the BBC reporter at the end of the match how great it was to have this huge support, the guy could barely muster a good word to say about them and when he did he sounded almost as disingenuous as Tony Blair on a good day. He’s a fucking robot with the emotional capacity of Rainman. You might not like the support Andy, but don’t pretend you do. If you do like it, show it for fuck’s sake.

If he does win Wimbledon (and I am praying hard to mystical teapot orbiting the sun that he doesn’t) he won’t have the depth of emotion to cope with it – cue a monotonous acceptance speech and ENORMOUS anticlimax. As most of Britain, not just Scotland, but Britain, wanks themselves into a frenzy at this historic event and the BBC literally tear themselves in two from the sheer strain and effort of giving birth to a level hyperbole the likes of which we’ve never seen before and which may very well shift the earth off it’s axis, he’ll be struggling to elicit a tear, or a thanks, or anything of any note really.

I could go on and on for days, but I won’t. Can’t be arsed really. Needless to say I am counting the days until someone knocks the miserable prick out – either via a tennis match or even better, via a racket straight to the face. In the meantime I’ll be supporting the players that are well, just better.

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8 responses to “Murray-mania makes me want to kill people

  1. Can I take it you don’t like him then.

  2. I do like him, as a player, but he’s not mah fav’rit. My faaaavourite player happens to have bandy knees and isn’t in this year. 😦 Oh Rafa, how I miss you. But yeah… I don’t think he’s the best player in the tournament and I sure as hell don’t think he’s better than Nadal when he’s healthy, or Federer, or Djokovic when he’s not got his head up his arse.

    He’s not even my favourite Tennis Andy – that’s Roddick.

    But I do like him… 🙂

  3. Good ranting there. I can’t quite look at it the same way as you – as I’m Irish and the whole media frenzy around an Englishman winning (they seem to ignore the women mostly?) drives me mental every year. Now granted, it’s still not quite as ear-bleedingly annoying as the Henman escapades – but it’s getting there. Regardless of Murray being a grumpy tw*t as you quite rightly say.

    I did enjoy when he first arrived on the scene though – and had no problem at all in correcting some Beeb journo who called him English. Fair play Andy. 😉

  4. 🙂 .. the crowd support was indeed just over the top, and its just a fourth round match .. u r right thou’. The media also has made a big deal of the someone from Britain should win the winbledon (the women british no. 1 had a hard time also, loosing her game, it was just too much pressure on a player.. ONLY for wimbledon) .. and i thought their game was no-way near federer / nadal class

  5. @JamrockRover – I try not to let it show, but yeah, he’s not my favourite

    @Kez – Nadal’s a dote and a mightily good player to boot. What’s not to love? Federer’s not my fave person either but I can take it as he’s a fantastic player

    @Steve – Beeb journo’s are ridiculous. They thought the Open (golf) last year was in Liverpool… Royal Birkdale’s in Southport, about 20 miles & 50 minutes further North. But then the Beeb’s made in London, by London, for London to a large extent and everything outside London kinds of blurs into the same thing really, so in their defence they probably still think he’s English 😉 lol

    @Mo – he barely beat a “nobody” so he’s going to get creamed in the next round I expect (hope).

    That Fred Perry’s got a lot to answer for winning the bloomin’ thing back in about 423BC… makes awesome shirts though 😉

  6. Lookit, I’m supporting Feddie, ’cause he’s just cool.
    And the BBC commentators are annoying as hell about Murray – last Federer match I watched, they were commenting on the speed of his serves and how Murray would have to improve his own. WTH?

  7. I really like the way you think!!! Hope your wish comes true

  8. Oh my god you’ve captured my thoughts and written them infintely better than I could have done! I hate Andy Murray. There I said it…

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